I met with Kirk on Saturday for a quick weigh-in. Down 2 pounds. My first thought was “only 2?”
I need to work on realistic expectations. 2 pounds is 2 pounds. Once I finally snapped out of my funk I used the moment to refocus. Any positive change will be welcomed with open arms.
I also want to focus more on something I’ve heard as “non-scale victories.” I’ve noticed my confidence has flown through the roof. I have more energy. My clothes fit differently. I can see the changes in my face. My skin is clearer.
I’m going to stop being a brat and buckle down. No one is going to hand this to me on a silver platter. I have to work for it.
It’s been a little over 2 months since I’ve started working with Kirk. Overall I’ve lost about 5lbs. I also have reduced my body fat by 2%. While those aren’t quite as high as I’d like, the changes I’ve noticed in my general fitness have been pretty amazing. I push myself so much harder than before.
I ran the Egg Nog Jog 5k on Sunday. Overall I felt good. I ran with Liz because it was her first 5k. It’s always fun to sort of pay it forward with running. I always want my friends new to running to have a really positive first race experience.
Megan visited this weekend. It was really an eye opener for me in regard to how much we’ve grown apart. I’ve dedicated myself to living a healthy life and she has the same mindset we had in college. The food we ate this weekend didn’t even taste that great. Several times I kept thinking “My god, this is how we used to eat ALL THE TIME.”
I had a great session with Kirk last night and am going full speed this week to make up for the weekend and get back on track. Half-marathon training starts in a few weeks. I’m getting more and more excited as we get closer.
After not seeing any real progress for 2 months, I had a breakthrough last week. My usual training schedule was messed up so I worked out with Kirk on Saturday. We weighed in and I was down FOUR pounds. That seriously made my weekend.
Worked out last night with Kirk and Jessie tagged along. It was kind of nice to see her get her ass kicked. It’s validation that what I’m doing is really hard but totally worth it.
Also registered for the Lincoln Half last week. I’m slowly warming up to it. It will be a lot of work but I’m excited to see how much time I can shave off from last year.
I’m having lunch today with Terra. I’m really excited to see her. Miss talking to her. We’re having a date at one of our old haunts - Amigo’s. Chicken ranch nachos FTW.
She asked me yesterday if she should invite Blake. I felt a twinge of … I don’t know what. Excitement? Dread? A little bit of both? I just know that if I see him again it will bring up a lot of things I don’t want to think about. Even though I was mad at him for not speaking to me after I left, deep down I know it was good for me. Who knows? He might not even show up.
Just in case though I spent extra time to look super hot today. I have a clingy black dress on and knee-high boots. If I’m going to see him again I want him to see me looking hot.
After a terrible workout Monday and feeling like crap all day Tuesday, I had an AWESOME workout with Kirk last night. I felt strong and like I got my ass kicked. I also weighed in after the workout and lost 1.5 lbs. We both agreed that I shouldn’t weigh myself at home because it will only make me crazy.
I’m also buying a Bodybugg tonight. I’m really curious to see how many calories I burn working out, especially when I work with Kirk.
I had a sucky workout last night with Kirk. I felt nauseas the entire time. It was disappointing to not be able to go as hard as he wanted me to. I’m still deciding if I’ll take a day off tonight or try to push through.
All I know is I don’t want to have another bad session with Kirk tomorrow.
Had a good, productive week last week. Six workouts in seven days, including two insanely difficult circuit workouts with Kirk. I’m excited that we’re starting to “ramp up.” I WANT RESULTS!!
I was especially proud of myself for getting out of bed on Saturday and making it to spinning. I always feel like the workouts where I have to overcome my mental blocks count just a little more than when I’m excited to go.
I had an awesome workout last night with Kirk. He kicked my ass and I loved every minute of it. It’s nice to push yourself and know that you’re capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for.
Here was the workout:
10 min. on AMT machine
30 jumping jacks
10 prisoner squats
10 leg swings (backward-forward) on each leg
10 leg swings (side to side) on each leg
10 clean and press (30 lb)
10 upright rows (30 lb)
10 push-ups, on one leg, on each side
Run 1 lap around the gym
Repeat 2 more times
12 side crunches (each side)
Dart and dash through punching bags
30 sec. laterals over two Bosu balls
5 sky-highs (throw medicine ball as high in the air as possible)
I really hate how much my emotions can fluctuate with my oncoming period. Just yesterday I was walking around here like I was HOT SH*T. The guy, who I’m pretty sure was the one my mom tried to set me up with, checked me out in the hallway. I felt awesome.
Today I’m in a deep funk. I feel bloated. I feel like someday I will eventually have to acknowledge that I may not find someone. Logically I know a lot of this has to do with my fluctuating hormones. I’m hoping for an awesome workout tonight with Kirk to lift my spirits.
I have been beyond frustrated with the lack of movement on the scale. I know that number is only one indicator of health and I should not obsess. I’m trying really hard to focus on other things. My slowly emerging jaw line. My back flattening out. My 30 minute workouts on the AMT machine ending because I’m bored - not tired.
I have fallen a little bit in love with spinning. I think I’m going to use it as my cardio on days I don’t work with Kirk. It’s nice because I know I’m getting a solid workout in. The AMT machine is beginning to feel too easy.
My eating is slowly getting better. I no longer crave fast food. I haven’t had McDonald’s breakfast in over 2 weeks. Diet soda doesn’t even really sound good. I still splurge every so often but it doesn’t turn into bingeing which is the real success.
The Beer and Bagel Run is coming up on Sunday. That should be a good indicator of where I’m at physically.
It’s been just a little over one week since I started working with Kirk. And I’m frustrated. My nutrition wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great either. I guess in my mind I thought the pounds would just be flying off. I’m going to really need to buckle down and get serious about my nutrition.
In happier news I’m 1 week without McDonald’s breakfast!!!
I tried my first spinning class on Saturday. It was hard but felt really good. I can’t remember a time when I’ve sweat that much. I think that will definitely be my go-to workout on Saturdays with Sunday off as a rest day.
I know it’s been less than a week, but I’m feeling really hopeful this time around. I can usually gauge how committed I am by little moments.
Today would prove to be a long day. I had a breakfast to attend before work and plans with Jessie after work. If I wanted to get in my workout, it would have had to happen before work. Last night, after a tough workout with Kirk, I set my alarm for 4:30 AM and went to bed.
This morning when the alarm went off, I rolled over and looked at Simon. He looked so comfortable and wanted to cuddle. I reset my alarm for 6:30 and rolled back over to go to sleep. For the next 15 minutes or so I struggled with my decision. Sure it would be nice to fall back asleep but I really needed to get my workout in. After all, I would only get about an hour of extra sleep and I would feel guilty all day for skipping my gym session. I finally rolled out of bed, looked at the cat lounging lazily beside me, and put on my workout clothes.
The fact that I got out of bed that early and got in a solid 30 minute elliptical session - when all I wanted to do was sleep - tells me this time is different.
One phrase I keep seeing is “If you don’t want to start over you have to stop quitting.” I honestly have no idea what happened. I think between switching jobs and switching homes I fell off the wagon. Hard.
Personal training always felt like something that was beyond my grasp. I’ve always looked at it as a luxury for rich, skinny people. I received a free session for joining Aspen Atheltic (I NEED TO QUIT GOLD’S!). I thought I would go, get a hard sell, turn down all sorts of supplements and maybe learn something. After my first meeting with Kirk I was sold on personal training. It seemed like such a revolutionary idea that this person could look me in the eye, point to the goal weight on the page, and tell me “I’ll have you here by May.”
I’ve been struggling for literally years to get to my goal weight but I’ve always felt I was just running in place. I’d have little successes here and there, but nothing substantial after my initial weight loss over three years ago.
Working with Kirk has kind of opened my eyes to a lot of new things. I look forward to working out with him. I want to make him really proud of me and prove that I’m not a worthless, overweight blob. He pushes me but also encourages me to do things I’ve either never done before or never had the willpower to stick with.
I weighed in for the first time one week ago at 241. Although to be fair he weighed me (a) at night, (b) after I had eaten dinner, and (c) with clothes AND shoes on.
I’m excited to see what happens in the next few months.
“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love; it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.”—Dream for an Insomniac (via imjustaboywithadream)
Ever since the Columbus Downtown Runaround, and if I’m being honest the Half-Marathon, I’ve had a mental block when it came to running. I don’t know if it’s just one thing. My lower left back has hurt after every run since the half so that was discouraging. But I think there are other reasons, some of which I don’t realize yet, that were keeping me from getting out there.
The last two weeks or so have not been great, which is weird because professionally it’s been the most exciting month of my life. I was offered and accepted my dream job. A job I’ve been wanting for six years. But I didn’t feel happy. It felt like everyone around me was more excited than I was. I was eating like crap to stuff down whatever I was feeling and as a result had no energy to do anything remotely active.
Tonight, after a long weekend of rest and eating actual food, I got the notion to just go for a run. 2 miles. I could run/walk as long as I felt okay. I didn’t run the whole way - I’d say it was about 50/50 - but nothing hurt. I was definitely rusty but it felt good to push myself again. I might even say I missed it. The best part about the run was how excited I was when I finished.
So my promise to myself is to knock off whatever was bugging me. I’m rededicating myself to my mission to eat healthier and exercise regularly. I’m trying to frame everything in my life as a possible fresh start. I’m looking at a new apartment tomorrow which is exciting. I have no idea if I’ll actually move, but just looking is exciting.
I’m done being moody. Back on the wagon tomorrow. Which means another weigh-in.